Imagine this scene and subsequent conversation:
Two people, traveling along in a car, when seemingly out of nowhere, another car, whips in front and cuts off our car. Honking of horn, pumping of brakes, screeching of tires, and words that shall not appear on this blog are shouted through the windshield.
Passenger: Whoa!
Driver: I know, did you see that jerk? What was he thinking?
P: Yeah, but that’s not what I meant.
D: Huh? Whaddya mean?
P: I was referring to your reaction.
D: Oh. Yeah, well, I suppose I lost control there for a second, but that guy deserved it and made me so angry.
P: I noticed, but only slightly.
D: No sarcasm there, was there. Like I said, he was wrong. Don’t you wish you could make citizens’ arrests and give traffic tickets to bozos like that?
P: Maybe. Can I ask you a question?
D: I guess so.
P: Do you remember what the pastor said a couple weeks ago in his sermon?
D: Ouch!
P: Yeah, I thought you did. I’m wondering if we need to talk about that a bit right now.
D: Gulp! But you’re probably right.
P: If you’ll allow me, I’ll ask just a few questions and we’ll see if we can’t peel back the layers of this situation right here and see what it was that made you so angry so quickly.
D: Oh, this is gonna hurt, I can tell; but you’re right again. I need this. Go ahead.
P: You got angry…really angry…really fast, didn’t you? Why was that?
D: ‘Cuz that idio…wait; sorry. Because that person cut me off in traffic.
P: Yes, he did. Why did that upset you so?
D: Well, it’s wrong. He’s rude. And it could have caused an accident.
P: Possibly an accident. And it was rude, as far as driving courtesies go. Is that what really made you angry though? I mean, angry enough to think what you were thinking about him?
D: How did you know what I was thinking? Oh, right. I suppose my language betrayed a bit of that.
P: Yes. Yes, it did.
D: Well, he shouldn’t have cut me off. That was dangerous and rude.
P: So, he…put you out of control for a moment and hurt your feelings and sensibilities?
D: Yes, I think that might be it. I could have lost control of my car.
P: I didn’t mean that control.
D: Oh. O-o-h. I see. My desire to be in control, to control life around me, myself and others. Is that what you’re getting at?
P: Might be; what do you think?
D: I think you nailed it. I wasn’t in control of the way he was driving…or anything else about him…and that bugs me big time.
P: Another layer…why does that bother you so? And I want to be gentle here, but this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you fly off the handle like that. What’s underneath that longing for control, do you suppose?
D: Hmmm, I do that too often, I know. Let me just think this out loud: something happens I’m not expecting or prepared for, catches me off guard and I respond in anger. I’m not in control, whether short-term or long and there’s something driving that, isn’t there. I’m wondering if it isn’t because I think something’s not right with the world, with the way it’s moving, happening, taking shape around me.
P: Very good. And what does that sound like, to you. Remember what the pastor said a while back and I think you’ll nail it.
D: That I’m not happy about the way God is ruling over His creation. That I don’t think He’s watching out for me and my best interests. And that I start to think I could do a better job of it if He’d just let me for five seconds.
P: What’s that layer called?
D: Pride. Self-centered pride which is idolatry, I believe were the words used in that sermon.
P: Bingo.
D: Man, that’s painful to admit.
P: Yeah, it is. I should know.
D: You? Proud? You’re one of the humblest people I know.
P: That’s why it’s so painful. Maybe my issues aren’t the angry ones like yours, but I have them. And when I peel back the layers, looking for what’s underneath those more surface-like sins, I almost always come back to pride, self-centered, ‘All about me’ idol-worship. And the idol is me.
D: I didn’t realize that. You’re right; I mean, the pastor was right, wasn’t he. It’s almost always that idol of self. We think we know better than God.
P: Ever since our forefathers ate of that fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
D: I have such a grand knowledge of what is good…for me. And what is evil…all those other guys out there…like that guy in that car.
P: Careful, don’t go there again.
D: I know, I know.
P: It’s just amazing how quickly that idol surfaces in so many ugly ways. What’s even more amazing, though, is how God still loved creatures like us in such a way that His Son came, died and worked salvation and forgiveness for our sin.
D: And not just our Sin, big capital ‘S’. Because that sermon went on to say since God is just – He punished His Son to take care of the Sin – and because He’s righteous – He exalted His Son for doing that work on the cross – He’ll forgive us our sins, small ‘s’ and sadly, all too frequent occurrences.
P: Amen for that. There was that one condition that is needed to bring about that forgiveness for sins committed – like outbursts of anger.
D: You’re relentless, aren’t you? Yeah, I remember: confession.
P: Yep, agreeing with God that we’ve disobeyed, rebelled, shaken our fist in the air at Him.
D: Okay, time to take care of this. Pardon me, if I don’t close my eyes while praying and driving at the same time.
P: Pardon granted!
D: Father, forgive me my anger, my selfishness. But most of all, I confess that I think I should be You. Cleanse me. Strengthen me. Let me remember the grace You’ve lavished upon me in Christ Jesus. Amen.
P: Amen.
